Bittersweet Bewitching

Asked a man: “Is this class twelve science?” and the boys bellowed back, “Yes!” Then a girl with a red bag entered. The whole class fell silent; as she walked in, she sparked the air she touched. Everybody said that everything they saw about her that day was special, the day she walked into my heart.

Two weeks later, one day, during a free period, we sat under a tree. The girls and boys spoke of the fun and boredom they tasted during their vacation. My hearthrob sat apart in splendid modesty. She had an air of simplicity of heart and rectitude of soul and yet she looked so down-to-earth.
She broke her silence with all the words she’d bottleed up so long; she talked like she hadn’t since the day she was born.

I gazed rapt at the way she spoke, her petite lips wore the cutest smile I ever did see in my entire short life. Amazingly, she addressed me with a question. At first I thought I’d not respond but then, not to insult her, I replied, like the good boy I was not and hoped she’d like it.

We became friends!

That day lit a lamp as if fate shone on us to be together.

The first day is blessed with all the beautiful things of life. We touch all the bases of both our lives. She is happy with me and I with her. People may look askance at our relationship but nothing mattered ‘cept us.

I have a personal diary and feel like sharing our lives on paper for great monuments can be built on words. I knew she had somebody in her life earlier but love being blind, I couldn’t remain dumb, not one moment longer. I egged myself on to ‘fess up my love for her.

It was a dismal afternoon when I called her for a quick chat without saying why. There was a half-built lhakhang nearby and we sneaked inside for our tete-a-tete. I had no idea where the conversation would lead but, by instinct almost, words spilt out clumsily.

I screw up all my courage to say, “I love you, Iknay. I’ve fallen from the first and when I got to know you better, I loved you even more. I’ve never known love like this before and though you may not become my first girl, you sure are my first love.”

“Now I know this soft corner of my heart belongs to nobody but you. You aren’t just my friend but have become the breath of my life. The moment I get up, I have to look at your snap and I rise with thoughts of you. Sorry if I’ve said too much but I just couldn’t keep saying nothing, because one old day it may age and remain a tale untold. Please say something. I don’t want to force somebody to fall in love with me.”

Hesitantly, she mumbles, “Though you’re someone special, I just can’t bury yesterday in the joys of today. I don’t know why, but my heart still beats for my ex. Forgive me. I’m helpless but can’t we be friends?”

Hearing her words, my heart sinks, but then I mentally shrug: something’s better than naught. And so we remain great friends but my love grows with every moment I spend with her. We share our happiest and saddest times. I wish against wish she’ll love me too some sweet day.

Exams ended. We went to every place she wanted to go. It was our last night; we may never meet again in life. nothing special happened but the memories returned on a sweet wind. When she left, I felt like I’d been living in a fairytale.

It now feels as if the life has left myself. So empty is post-parting, so bitter it is to love somebody with a pure heart. I sometimes wish I could delete all the memories. I despise my fate and wish we never met.

Puran!!!